“So,” they ask, “what do you do for a living?”
This was a common question for me, in the four years I spent living in DC. This is partially because that’s the nature of the town. It’s as dog-eat-dog as you’ve heard, and it’s a place where twenty-somethings go to advance their careers as quickly as possible. The subtext there was, “how valuable of a person are you?”
It was funny to experiment with reactions. Since I had five jobs in four years, I got to do a lot of experimenting. A receptionist in a consulting firm got a lukewarm response, but when I was an account manager at a political staffing firm, I got more business cards than I ever wanted.
By the time I had grown weary of life in our nation’s capital, I started responding to the question by answering, “My name is Kathleen, what’s yours?” since the question was often asked before the person knew my name.
It made me wonder, though…
How Do We Identify Ourselves?
I have a fancy camera. When I learn how to use it, will I be a photographer?
At what point do we start taking ourselves more seriously? It’s certainly not in acquiring the tools that the professionals have. We all have access to keyboards (unless you’re on your iPad) and monitors. But we are not all writers.
I learned at a bloggging conference over the weekend that there isn’t much difference between the professionals and the hobbyists. Sometimes, the difference was timing — the guys who’d been doing it the longest had the most experience (and the glint in their eye that showed that they’d made it).
But the professional bloggers were different in another way. They took their role, their blog, and their profession seriously. They weren’t ashamed to say they were writers who started blogs. Their personalities were very different. If you’ve ever read Ramit, you’d expect (like I did) for all the “heavy hitters” to have 200X the confidence of the average person. And you’d be right, about Ramit. He is a confident fellow. But the others? J.D.? Flexo? Will Chen? They were normal — they were guys who’d made it work. They were good at their jobs, and they had made their careers very profitable.
I’m still working on my own answer, but I’d like to know, what do you do?
About Kathleen
I rather like answering that question, actually, because of my status as a student. Many times people will follow up “what do you do?” with “what do you want to do with that?” and that gives me an opportunity to express more of the breadth of my interests and make possible contacts for future positions depending on to whom I’m speaking.
I’ve had some odd answers to that, since I was a professional gambler for a little while. That one wasn’t worth explaining, so I was an “engineer” which is what my degrees are in. No one WANTS an explanation of what you engineer, so it was an easy way to avoid the issue.
There are certain fields like gambling or being a trader that the public grossly misunderstands. I’ve never figured out how to tell people that’s what you do without ending up in a flood of awkward conversations.
I lived for 8 years in the DC area, so understand exactly what you’re talking about! I learned my favorite answer to the “what do you do?” question from a director of a charitable foundation in Saint Paul, MN with whom I once met. In describing his job, he said he mostly “stares out the window and thinks a lot.” Wow, I thought–this guy’s my hero!
What do I do? I am an accountant by day blogger by night handbills take my blog pretty seriously! I really enjoy it and feel like I have a ton of room to grow.
I’ve heard from others that have visited Europe and other places throughout the world that Americans are unique with this question. We somehow relate what you do with status and worth. Nice post, Kathleen.
It’s funny, I used to cringe at that question because I wanted the answer to be “writer” but thought I wasn’t allowed to say that until I was actually getting paid to write, so I just said what my office job at the time was. Then I went out and wrote two books and realized that I don’t have to wait until I’m paid as validation. Even if those books never get published, I’m still a writer. It’s who I am and the thing I spend all my free time on. Realizing that was a great feeling.
Although I am a teacher, it is my 7th career. I think of myself as a problem solver. Since teachers are respected very well, I usually say I am retired or writer.
I’m not always sure how to answer this question. Sometimes, I say I’m a writer. Since I make a living writing for my blogs this is true, but since I’m not selling books or articles it still doesn’t seem completely true. Or I can answer that I’m an attorney, which is also true, but since I’m not employed as an attorney it probably isn’t a good answer either.
I live in DC too and have so for about 5 years altogether.
The stereotype is that the “So what do you do?” tends to come a little earlier in the conversation here than in most places, but I also understand it’s the same way in New York.
Like 70% of the people here either work for the Government, lawyers, or big consulting firms. So when a girl asks a guy that question (often right after exchanging names) it basically means “How much money do you make?”
I never ask a girl that question when I’m out and about; it might come up in the conversation, but oftentimes it’s immaterial; that’s just IMHO, there’s simply no need to.